How not to worry. Ever.
Let’s face it, we all worry about things. They might be big things or small things or random things but it’s something that we, as human beings, are particularly good at doing. I feel that in the past I could have been an Olympic gold medallist for worrying. I used to worry about everything. And anything! Granted, a lot of this was directly related to my bad anxiety at the time, but I had become a true professional at working myself up into worried frenzies. As you can imagine, it was unpleasant.
I’m not worry-free these days (who is by the way?), but I have come across a process of thinking that has really helped me to deal with excessive worry. When I explain it to you, it’s going to be blindingly obvious. But that’s the thing that worry can destroy. Logic. Worry doesn’t like logic and logic doesn’t like worry. I think they fell out in the past and never made up. Anyway, if we use logic when we are in a state of worry, this can bring us some control to the situation. And control is good. It helps us to feel like we are doing something about the situation.
So how do we us logic when we are worried? That’s very simple. If you look at the picture below, you will notice that all roads lead to “Then don’t worry”. Whatever situation you face in life and whatever problems seem to be causing you stress, this picture highlights how you should look at them. If we use critical thinking to determine where our focus should be, this can change everything.
The thought process starts in the top left-hand corner and asks us if we have a problem. If we answer “no” and don’t have a problem, we really shouldn’t be worrying about anything. The interesting thing is that a lot of people will worry even if they don’t have a problem.
If we answered “yes” to the first question, we have two options (whichever one we choose will lead us to “Then don’t worry”). Can we do something about our problem? If we can’t do anything about it, worrying isn’t going to change anything. If that isn’t going to change anything, it’s absolutely pointless in worrying about it! Nothing can be done!
If we CAN do something about our problem, then we shouldn’t worry. Something can be done. We know where to put our focus and this can help us to direct our energy. Problem solved.
All of this might seem obvious, but it’s a very practical way to deal with worry. I’ve used this to great effect in my life and I’m confident that you will be able to use it, too. However, it’s definitely easier to talk about this than to actually do it. I know first-hand how tough it can be to step back and use logic when the emotional part of the brain takes over. It needs practice but it’s something that’s worth practising.
So, the next time you have a problem and are worried, think about this picture. Think about how all roads lead to “Then don’t worry” and then try to apply this style of thinking to your situation. And remember – whatever happens, don’t worry!
“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever. ”