A Practical Way to Deal With Fear
Fear is something that we all experience in our lives. It’s something that can come and go depending upon what situations we find ourselves in and can be quite unpredictable. Learning how to deal with fear is a skill that can be extremely useful to develop. This post will aim to give you a few practical tips to try the next time you’re feeling fearful, anxious or nervous. Test them out and see which ones work best for you.
What does fear feel like?
It’s interesting to observe what happens to our bodies when we are afraid. The standard response is for adrenaline to be released into our bloodstreams. This chemical can have some very physical effects on the body: it can make us shake, it can make us feel nauseous and it can make us want to run away (with arms flailing all over the place).
Becoming aware of the sensations associated with fear in our bodies can be a grounding process. It’s normal to want to escape the discomfort and edgy feeling of having adrenaline in our bodies, but paying attention to what it really feels like can help us. By accepting that we are experiencing these feelings, we don’t have to look elsewhere for distractions. If we go deeper into the sensations we are experiencing, we will see that they are endurable and that we can handle them. Simply looking at these feelings in an open-minded way can change how they affect us. It may sound strange but paying attention to what we are experiencing can make a big difference. The next time you feel adrenaline, try to “explore” it and become aware of what’s really happening. Just focus on observing everything and try not to add a running commentary in your mind.
Focus on your breathing
Deep breathing can be a great way to deal with fear. It can help us to calm down and feel in control again. The Navy SEALs use a method called “box breathing”. This is used when facing a difficult and intense situation on the battlefield. The method is very straightforward and something that we can borrow when facing a scary situation.
Step 1: Breathe in for four seconds.
Step 2: Hold in for four second.
Step 3: Breathe out for four seconds.
Step 4: Hold out for four second.
Picture a box/square and imagine that each side is a step to the breathing process. Each side of the box is four seconds long so it should be easy to remember. It’s best to start using this method when you’re not afraid so that you are familiar with the technique. This way, when you need to whip out some “box breathing” you won’t have to look it up or try to remember how it works.
To take this step further, consider exploring meditation.
This too shall pass
The next time you feel afraid, try to remember the maxim “This too shall pass”. Knowing that the fear and associated sensations are eventually going to end is very important. Focusing on the fact that we aren’t always going to feel afraid is worth remembering and can help to ease any overwhelming feelings.
Thinking about the bigger picture can take the sting out of a scary situation. A lot of the things we were worried about a few weeks ago have been completely removed from our memories. Knowing that this current experience may well follow in the footsteps of those worries can help to soften the edges of the fear. Things change. Don’t forget this.
Stare your fear in the face
There’s nothing more powerful than taking action when you’re afraid. Trying to do something about the fear you’re feeling can make a massive difference to how you feel. Even attempting to do something can actually make you feel better. The brain seems to respond well to effort and small steps towards addressing fear can often be successful.
There are two types of fear that you can use this method to deal with:
You’re feeling afraid in the present moment.
You have a fear/phobia of something.
To deal with fear in the present moment, taking action can help you to feel in control again. Think about what you can do to help the situation. When you figure out what you can do to help, go and do it! If you can’t do anything, at least attempting to use one of the other techniques should make a difference. The action of addressing your fear itself can be very empowering.
If there is something you are afraid of (this includes phobias), going out of your way to go and do it/spend time around it will change your relationship with it. If you’re afraid of water, taking swimming lessons and exposing yourself to open water is going to help you to become confident with this fear. Start small and gradually build up your exposure over time. This concept can be applied to anything that fills you with fear and dread.
This process is called “Exposure Therapy” and can help people to overcome crippling fears. It forces you to gradually expose yourself to your fears and build up your confidence over time. So, the next time you feel afraid, why not stare it in the eyes and lean into it?
Distraction
Another thing you can do to deal with fear in a practical way is to distract yourself. This should be a last resort though as it’s not actually helping you to overcome a fear. If you’ve tried the other tips first and still need a way to deal with your immediate discomfort, this will work.
Distracting yourself will allow you to endure the moment/sensations of being afraid. To do this, your best option is to engage with a task that uses the logical part of your brain. When we are afraid, we have a lot of activity in the emotional part of the brain. By engaging in a logic-based task, we will stop using so much of the emotional brain and therefore reduce the level of fear we experience. The quickest and most effective way to do this is by playing a game of chess, completing a sudoku or working on a crossword. Video-games, books and administrative tasks also work well. Having distracting apps on your phone can be a great way to keep your mind occupied when you start to feel anxious/afraid/worried.
Conclusion
The important thing to remember with fear is that it’s natural to experience it. Fear has helped to keep us alive for thousands of years and is something that we should welcome in our lives. It’s easy to make fear out to be the enemy but it’s an incredibly important emotion for all of us to experience. Learning to manage fear is something that can be really useful and I hope that the ideas here benefit you.
Please note, I write all of this as a non-professional. I’m not a Psychiatrist/Doctor so am basing these tips on my personal experience and excessive reading on the subject. However, they’ve worked for me so they may well work for you! I’d love to know if you find any of these concepts helpful or if you have any tips you personally use when facing fear. Let me know in the comments section below.
“Feel the fear and do it anyway”