Omoiyari – The Japanese Art of Compassion
I’ve just finished reading a wonderful book by Erin Niimi Longhurst and can’t recommend it enough. It’s called Omoiyari – The Japanese Art of Compassion. The book explores lots of Japanese philosophical concepts and is a beautiful guide to understanding certain aspects of Japanese culture. Other than being a fascinating read, it’s also packed with wonderful illustrations and photographs. Yes, I’m a big fan!
The core idea of the book is Omoiyari. This is something that I believe we can all benefit from. The concept is simple but permeates all parts of Japanese culture. Omoiyari means to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. We could use the word compassion to best describe this. However, it appears to go deeper than this. It’s more about anticipating what someone else might need and providing that in advance. It’s thinking ahead and creating a “user experience” that is pleasant for others. This all comes from the question - What actions can we take that would make everyone else’s life easier? A few examples will help:
It’s the carefully thought-out coat hook by your seat so that you can keep your possessions close by and not piled on the floor.
It’s tidying up after yourself as an act of respect to others. This made the headlines in 2018 when Japanese rugby fans tidied up a stadium after watching Japan play in the Rugby World Cup.
It’s thinking about how you will speak to someone so that you don’t inadvertently upset them with your words.
It’s treating people that you don’t know with respect. In the Japanese language there’s a very formal style of speech that is used to address strangers, colleagues, guests and elders. This formality is used as a sign of respect and has been one of the many challenging obstacles for me when learning Japanese. Whenever I’m in Japan, this speech style is used a lot and I’m not as confident with it. I do appreciate the reason for it though and will endeavour to work harder on my understanding of keigo (the type of speech).
The examples here are just a few and there are many more ways that this concept can be seen in Japan. Anticipating what others might need and providing it before they’ve even had the chance to think about what they need, is why (in my opinion) Japan is such a wonderful place to visit. As a visitor in Japan, I’ve been blown away by the level of kindness from strangers that I have experienced. Whether it’s being personally escorted out of a confusing train station when lost, to receiving free gifts and extras at mealtime, I always feel very welcomed and respected. It’s a very nice feeling.
I believe that Omoiyari can be applied to our lives and all it takes is a little thought about what someone else might need. If you can try and predict what it is that they need and spring it on them before they have a chance to ask, this is Omoiyari at its finest. It might be as simple as making someone a cup of tea before they ask or intuitively holding a door open for someone. These things might be small acts of kindness and compassion but they add up. What kind of society do we want to live in? If we want to live in a respectful society where people are kind to each other, it starts with us as individuals. We must take on this personal responsibility and it will ripple out from there.
If you want to explore this concept further, Erin’s wonderful book is waiting for you! Go and give it a read and thank me later.
““Omoiyari is not about ulterior motives, furthering a business prospect or taking a romantic relationship to another level. It’s bigger than that – perhaps karmic – but I like to think it’s about leaving a place you’ve been in either the same way or better than you found it. It’s about respect – for yourself, for the ones around you and for the environment, too.”
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