Role Models
I believe that having role models in our lives is essential for all of us. I also believe that every single one of these role models don’t have to be positive (as strange as that might sound). I honestly think that there is value in having negative role models in our lives - they can show us what we shouldn’t do. Let me give you a few examples to explain all of this. Hopefully, I can convince you to look for both positive and negative role models in your life.
Positive Role Models
The positive role model is easy to conceptualise. These are the people in your life that inspire you. These are the people whose behaviour you want to mirror. These role models might be friends or family members. They might also be people that you’ve never met. They might not even be alive! Their words of wisdom may have inspired you on the screen or through the page. The important thing here is to remember that role models can come from many different places. And they should come from many different places.
I believe that we should use these positive role models as a benchmark for greatness. When in doubt, we can ask ourselves what would our role models do. This is a very powerful exercise. It’s also remarkably easy to do!
Negative Role Models
Negative role models are the opposite to all of this. They aren’t normally people that we spend a lot of time thinking about. However, I feel that we can gain valuable insights on life by thinking about them. I like to call them anti-role models. These are the people and the behaviour that we don’t want to emulate.
Now, this might initially seem like quite a negative exercise, but in reality, it isn’t at all. We are looking at behaviour that we don’t want to copy and observing it in others. We are looking for negative characteristics and using that as an example of what we shouldn’t do. An example might help:
If someone cuts us up in traffic, we can use them as an anti-role model. Rather than get angry at them, we can try to do the exact opposite of what they would do and make a conscious effort to never cut people up when driving.
If someone is rude to us, we can use that as an example of what not to do. The anti-role model gets us thinking about the negative traits that we might possess and encourages us to consciously take action against them.
Observing these traits in others can help us to visually see the consequences of bad behaviour. Often these anti-role models are surrounded by negativity. Paying attention to what happens to people who perpetuate negativity can be extremely insightful. It can also be a wakeup call. I’ve seen people so consumed by negativity that they are unbearable to be around. In the past, I would find it very difficult to deal with people like this but I feel that my mindset has changed. I use these people as a guide now. They show me what kind of existence I don’t want to live. They are a reminder to not be like them.
As the famous Stoic Philosopher Marcus Aurelius said: “The best revenge is not to be like your enemy”.
I believe that there is space for both role models and anti-role models in our lives. I think that both of these influences can teach us different things and I would encourage you to think about who these people are in your life.
Will you use this exercise? I’d love to know what you think about it. Leave your comments and thoughts below.
“Each person must live their life as a model for others. ”